Dateless
by l3rainy
Summary: One-Shot 'Bubbles Utonium was ecstatic. For one thing in particular… Prom. The only Utonium sister not eager for Prom was the sister that had been on the Prom Committee...' NOTE: Not like most RRBxPPG this one is for people that tire of it; very funny!


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Powerpuff Girls material; the Powerpuff Girls is strictly property of Cartoon Network with the original creation of it belonging to Craig McCracken.**

Warning: Contains strong profanities and mild scenes of violence that may be discomforting to some readers.

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><p><strong>Dateless<strong>

_Count-down till Prom: 18 days_

Bubbles Utonium was ecstatic. For one thing in particular… Prom! Sure, it was cliché and also highly overrated but it was also where she might (just might) be elected Queen of Prom. Even her sister Buttercup was excited! Apparently, a modern-day twist was being added to their Prom with a 'fight' scene. Although it was all fake, her aggressive green-eyed sister was in her own words, "pumped" for it. The only Utonium sister not eager for Prom was the sister that had been on the Prom Committee. Bubbles knew why. She may have been a blonde but she knew Blossom. Blossom was class president, head of the Prom Committee and head of FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America.) There was absolutely no reason why Blossom should not have been bouncing with joy for this Prom! After all, she had decorated it, organized it, planned what bands would play or what food would be served and had gotten major sponsors for the 'fight' scene. The reason why her know-it-all sister was not excited for Prom was because she was dateless. Bubbles honestly had no clue why she was dateless. Blossom was gorgeous! Her sister's magenta colored eyes were framed by luscious, dark eyelashes that meshed perfectly with her full, cherry-colored lips. Not to mention her thick, long, vibrant hair the color of fire.

_Count-Down till Prom: 12 days_

Brick Jojo was silently awaiting the torture that would soon plague the halls of Pokey Oaks High. High-pitched obnoxious laughter, joyful auras and every boy that would want to ask out Miss Perfect. Ah, yes. Miss Perfect. Surprisingly enough, Brick had done a wonderful job of wrecking Miss Perfect. In middle school she used to be an uptight bitch who was the biggest fucking snob ever. Acting like she was so damn great just because she saved the citizens of Townsville. Taking all the glory and eating it up. Miss Perfect was even to fucking proud to realize that just because Townsville was a 'happy' place didn't mean that people all over the world needed saving to. Sure if the crisis got enough publicity Miss Perfect would 'round up her bitches and save the day. Did she even realize all the starving people world wide? Hell, did Miss Perfect even know what a third world country fucking was? So whenever Brick had time to spare from thrashing Townsville and ruining the sickening 'happiness' that it was he worked on ruining Miss Perfect's life. Brick was to low on the status pole at school to ruin her reputation. Everyone their besides Butch and Morebucks thought he was slimy and disgusting. They didn't understand why Brick had to ruin their perfect school by showing his terrible face. Brick wanted to ruin Miss Perfect's pride and ruin he did. Brick made sure no boy at school would even think of approaching Miss Perfect. If he ever saw a guy give Miss Perfect any type of look he sent said guy flying. Their always was the brave one's that tried to ask her out. Heh. He almost felt bad for them. In fact, Brick was doing them a gigantic favor by not allowing them to date Miss Perfect. They just didn't see through the bitch's sweet as acid ways.

_Count-Down till Prom: 7 days_

Blossom Utonium felt appalling. As she looked in the mirror, she saw the definition of appalling. Her eyes were puffy with rings from lack of sleep, her hair was frizzy with bald patches from hair-pulling and her skin was ghostly pale from getting no sun for a couple of days. Was their something wrong with her? Why had there been no one to ask her to Prom? If their was something wrong with her, WHAT was it? Frustrated, Blossom banged her head repeatedly against the painted pink walls in her bathroom. Her head slammed into something hard and she realized she had broken the wall; leading her head to slam into the pipes of the pluming system. "I am beautiful!" Blossom screeched out to no one in particular.

"I!" "AM!" "BEAUTIFUL!" Howled Blossom ramming her head into the pipes. Knocking on the door was Buttercup; why was the traitorous bitch in her room anyway?

"We all know your fucking gorgeous Blossom now will you stop your bitch fit before you destroy the entire house!" Screamed Buttercup.

"Buttercup!" Yelled a disproving voice. "She just is upset about Prom." Snapped Bubbles in defense.

"Oh," said Buttercup, her lips twisting into a cruel smirk. "You mean the fact that Prissy doesn't have a date?" She sneered. This only caused Blossom to kick randomly at the wall and throw random products from the shelf across from the mirror. She screeched again.

"Annoying but nowhere near sonic Prissy!" Jeered Buttercup.

"SHUT UP!" Roared Blossom chucking her 100 dollar extra-softening shampoo at the door. The shampoo crashed through the door and hit Buttercup in the head. Who had been standing inches from Blossom's hot pink bathroom door.

"You ungrateful bitch! Isn't this the shampoo you begged the professor to get for your hair that needed, I quote, 'the best treatment ever and most superior to all other hair products'?"

"Ye-yeah." Sniffled Blossom going into a sobbing fit. She then collapsed into her pink-colored carpet. Her wails muffled by the plush carpet.

"Please Prissy." Scoffed Buttercup. "Your not fooling anyone with that pathetic whining, sobby, bitch act."

Almost to prove her wrong, Bubbles padded across the carpet to Blossom's muffled form and whispered quietly words of comfort in her ear.

"You- you really think my hair is the color of fire?" Smiled Blossom with mascara running down her pale face.

Bubbles smiled effortlessly. "Tints of reds and astonishing hues of orange tangled in colors of pink." Despite being the dumb blonde of the family, Bubbles had an artistic eye and a knack of describing the beauty in anything.

Blossom blushed modestly, "go on."

Bubbles continued: "Eyes that anyone would murder hundreds to have. One's that sparkle under the sun and always have flecks of gold throughout. Eyes the color of-."

Buttercup interrupted Bubbles in a mocking tone, "light, feathery, flower petals," she paused to flutter her eyelashes girlishly, "that also glisten in the sun." Finished Buttercup sarcastically. "Come on Bubbles! We know in looks she God's gift to all of man kind, but can you pump the Prissies' ego any more?" Hissed Buttercup. "She's doing this for some damn 'feel sorry for me' attention. Nothing more." She said with a tired sigh.

Blossom glared daggers at Buttercup. "That is NOT true." She stated, putting emphasis on not.

Bubbles instantly defended Blossom. "One she isn't a Priss and two you know she is just upset about not having a date to Prom. Stop making her feel worse Buttercup!"

Buttercup rolled her eyes. "Whatever Bubbles, I tried to save you because you are so innocent and sweet but go 'ahead! Ger sucked into her deceiving world full of shit." From her standing position Buttercup unfolded her arms and stomped out her ex-sisters room. She stuck her head in the door, always one to get the last word, and said, "Oh and PS Prissy? Glaring is so cliché or putting emphasis on shit to prove a point. Only Mojo does that."

"Bitch!" Screeched Blossom in Buttercup's direction, attempting to re-chuck the bottle of shampoo at the traitor's head.

_Count-Down till Prom: 3 days_

Brick Jojo was beyond agitated as he beat the shit out of another 'suitor' of Miss Perfect's. "And if you ever think of taking Miss Perfect's ass anywhere ever again I will find your pathetic fucking body anywhere at any time and not hesitate to kill you without remorse or hesitation!" Hissed Brick venomously at the newest wretched teen who had the displeasure of meeting him.

"Dude seriously! You can have her! Hell, I will find the hot piece of ass myself and hand her to you!" Said the non-suspecting teen throwing his hands up in defense.

Brick chuckled darkly. "Why would I want that whiny bitch? I don't want anyone dating her to ruin her life. Not because I give two shit's about her. Now get out of my presence you failure at life!" After that, Brick had never seen anyone human run that fast. Especially some lazy teen. "I do have that effect on people." Said Brick to himself with a smug smile. Just as he was leaving the crime scene, a back alley close to the Townsville dump; the cunning teen saw two semi-long blonde ping tails running at super sonic speed away. Ah, fuck! If Blondie told her snobby excuse for a sister about this he would be screwed. All his efforts to wreck that bitch wasted! "Get back here Blondie!" He snarled matching her pace to catch up with her. Bubbles squealed and picked up her already super sonic speed. Cement from the alley flew up in his face as she raced away from him. "DAMN IT!" Brick's thunderous bellow was so loud that pieces from the building Bubbles was hiding in close by fell down on her.

"Owie!" She squeaked rubbing her arm where the perpetrating clump of a brick had hit.

"Heh." Brick laughed quietly in relief. "Have 'yah now Blondie." He muttered to himself. Silently, Brick crept over to where Bubbles was still rubbing her arm. "May I suggest a Band-Aid for that?" Brick asked dryly.

Bubbles eyes went wide. "I know that you boys have been rotten for a long time! But doing that to Blossom? How could you!" She yelled bravely; crossing her arms in defiance.

"Blondie apparently you don't know anything!" Defended Brick; throwing his arms up. "She. Must. Go. Down." He stated slowly; using his hands for dramatic effect.

"I know a lot of things Jojo. One being that your on thin ice as a Rowdyruff and two Blossom wouldn't hesitate to kill you if she found out." Hissed Bubbles poking her finger in his chest as she said 'one' and 'two.'

Brick raised an eyebrow. "Look Blondie. I'm going to hurt you very painfully in a couple of seconds if you don't get on your knees right now and promise me you wont tell Miss Perfect." He said simply. "I don't give a flying fuck if your Boomer's girlfriend. I still want to kick his ass for dropping us for you anyway."

Bubbles erupted. "Me get on my knees? HA! You hurt my boyfriend? HA! Like hell I won't tell Blossom. She deserves to know and I can't believe I didn't figure out sooner that you were the one ruining Blossom's life."

"Blondie I suggest not doing that." Seethed Brick pinning her against the wall and squeezing her wrists with his super-strength force applied.

"Let. Me. Fucking. Go." Spat Bubbles in his face.

"Don't. Tell. That. Fucking. Bitch." Spat Brick right back.

Bubbles got a devious smile on her face. Brick was astounded by that. What was she planning? From her smile, it couldn't be good.

"Okay." She said calmly. "I won't tell Blossom."

Brick, however, snorted. "Yeah fucking right Blondie! Get on your damn knees and swear on your own life and great-grandchildren's graves that have your eyes and Boomer's smile you wont."

Bubbles giggled at that. "Oddly specific."

Brick locked eyes with her. "I don't fuck around when it comes to wrecking Miss Perfect's life. Oh, and if your lying I will find a way to hunt down those great-grandchildren."

Bubbles gulped and got on her knees. "I swear on my life and future kids, grand kids, and great grand kids that have my eyes and Boomie's smile that I will not tell Blossom how you have been beating anyone up and threatening them with their life if they try to date Blossom."

Brick smiled maliciously. "Excellent…" He drawled.

_Count-Down till Prom: 0 days_

Brick Jojo was basking in the wonders of His Alone Time. Normally, on a Friday night he would be wrecking havoc and mayhem around the city of Townsville but tonight his only other member in the Rowdyruff team, Butch, was annoying girls at the Townsville Prom. So instead, Brick was enjoying one of his rarely few moments of His Alone Time. Just laying on his beat up couch in his room of the two-bed apartment he and Butch rented, taking a drag of his Cancer Stick. Wasting his good-for-nothing life away. Watching some oldies movie on the shitty television set. "This is the life." He muttered to himself blowing out more smoke from the Cancer Stick. At random, there was an impatient knock on his door. "Fuck man! Who the hell would visit me now? I bet it's one of Butch's sluts." Grumbling under his breath, he bit the Cancer Stick's but with his mouth and threw it on the ground. Brick then proceeded to storm his way over to the door and slam it open. Looking at the sight in front of him, Brick rolled his eyes. "Oh, no. It's my only slut." There, in all her glory was Miss Perfect. She was wearing a breath-taking glimmering pink dress that reached her ankles and standing in the cold with what appeared only a small cashmere shrug around her shoulders. He glared at her hoping the nightmare would go away, but she only beamed a perfect smile in his direction.

Just as he was ready to slam the chipped door in her face (most likely breaking the door in the process) she said the most bizarre thing the crazy bitch had ever said: "Hi, Brick! I'm ready for our date."

"Wait! What the fuck did you just say Miss Perfect?" Brick questioned Blossom.

Her laser-white smile only grew bigger as she starred at the ruggedly handsome man in front of her. "I said, I'm ready for our date."

"And what drug got you high enough to say that?" Asked Brick confused.

Blossom giggled at the cutie's ignorance. "I heard what Bubbles and you were talking about the other day. I didn't exactly care for the names you called me but it's just so sweet that you would hurt other people to date me!" She threw her hair back in a flirtatious manner. "I mean, you could have just asked."

"…." Brick was speechless at that. What could he say? What could anyone say? That he would never go on a date with the snobby ass bitch ever and angrily explain the exact long-list of reasons why? "How much do I hate thee. Let me count the ways…" Began Brick furiously.

"Oh a love poem!" Squealed Blossom dramatically. "I absolutely LOVE Elizabeth Browning!"

Brick did a face-palm at that. And then smashed his head into the wall. Repeatedly. Repeatedly. Repeatedly. Again. Again. Again. Again. Just as he pulled his head back to smash it into the wall again, Miss Perfect caught it.

"I don't think you understand Brick." She growled dangerously. "I have missed valuable dating time and even went insane for a few days because of you. YOU are the reason I almost killed myself!"

Instantly, Brick retracted from Blossom. "Really?" He asked dreamily.

"Yes, really!" Yelled Blossom. "Now," she said pleasantly, "we are going to that damn Prom, we are going to have a wonderful time, you are going to be my boyfriend for the rest of your life and eventually marry me where we will have three happy children: two girls and one boy, then maybe just maybe I will forgive you." Said Blossom with a wide smile grabbing Brick in her clutches.

"What? No, you psychotic bitch!" Screamed Brick clawing to get away from her. Then, "What did you do to get so strong!"

"Drank a entire bottle of Chemical X." She said of-handedly. Going back to serious matters she giggled, "Oh, Brick I really don't think you understand now." Suddenly, Blossom's eyes grew dark and she slammed Brick with remarkable force into a wall. Brick went through the wall along with Blossom, and the next ten walls.

"YOU WILL OBEY ME!" She bellowed before pounding Bricks face into the floor. Nine floors down, Blossom smiled wickedly at Brick. Grabbing him in a choke hold on the floor, she suffocated Brick for a good twenty seconds until his face turned blue from lack of oxygen. A cackle erupted from her throat and she dislodged her perfectly manicured pink hands from Brick. "Now cutie who do you love?" Asked Blossom sweetly.

Brick choked for air, "not-" COUGH! "you." COUGH!

"What did you say?" Demanded Blossom before punching Brick swiftly with force in the ribs.

"That's going to cause some internal bleeding." Sang Blossom. "Now who do you love?" Blossom once again asked sweetly.

Brick smiled painfully. "You." He whispered weakly.

"That's better!" Cooed Blossom approvingly patting his head like a dog. "Now were going to the Prom and if you aren't talking about your undying love for me every second I will have you head on a platter for my late dinner in seconds." She happily stated. Blossom got up of the ground and started walking towards the exit, "So dearest how do you feel about me?"

"My love for you burns like the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns." Mumbled Brick, struggling to get of the ground.


End file.
